you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
