I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
