what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
