gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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