I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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