I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
