Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
