I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
