You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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