JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
