I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
