Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
