Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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