So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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