the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
