somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
