I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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