What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
