Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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