I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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