Jerry, you need to find god
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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