I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
