I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
