I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Boobs speak an international language.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
