I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
