Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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