I've blown a few things in my day
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
