But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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