just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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