I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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