I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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