Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
