My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
