I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
