I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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