I love black thongs
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
