She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
