Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
