Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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