She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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