So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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