Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
