I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
