Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
