i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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