If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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