I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh god it's open bar.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
