Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
