I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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