Got a toothbrush?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
